Elaine Ward Kindred Oakes passed away on Jan. 5, 2023, in Memphis, Tenn. at the age of 103 years. With a deep faith and love of the Lord, she died peacefully after a life well lived. Elaine was born on Sept. 22, 1919, in Kilmichael to Ben Davis Kindred and Ruby Louise Ward. She deeply loved her grandparents, Alice Amanda and William Andrew Ward, who raised Elaine and her brother, Arthur Enis. Following graduation from Kilmichael High School, she made the bold decision to move into “the big city” of Memphis at the age of 20 to attend business school and then work at Hutton Chevrolet. She took up residence at a local boarding house on Barksdale Avenue, owned by Sue Orr. It was here she met Sue’s brother, Frank O’Neil Oakes.
Frank proposed marriage several times, but Elaine declined telling him she’d “never been anywhere or done anything,” and wasn’t ready to settle down. Frank finally won her hand by promising that they would travel and see everything together. They were married in March of 1940 in Winona. True to his word, Frank and Elaine traveled abroad several times. During the war, the Army sent Frank to manage radio operations in Calcutta, India for the China-Burma-India Theatre. On weekends, he would wander the local markets, sending trinkets and letters home to his beloved Elaine. For her part, Elaine went to work for Jefferson Standard Life Insurance Company and leaned on the family’s dear friend and housekeeper, Roxie Swift, for support in raising their only child, Frank O’Neil Oakes Jr. (Neil). Frank preceded Elaine in death in 1980 at the age of 70 years.
In Memphis, Elaine was an active member of Second Presbyterian Church and especially loved her home communities of Hein Park and High Point Terrace. A lifelong gardener, Elaine could frequently be found roaming the Dixon Gallery and Memphis Botanic Gardens, attending lectures and classes. She was active in Les Passees, Memphis Cotton Wives, and Church Circle. She attended exercise classes at The University Club until the age of 96 years and often attributed her longevity to daily walking, copious vegetables, and minimal technology. She loved being outdoors and tending to her garden, which was once featured in Southern Living.
Elaine is survived by her only child, Neil Oakes (Lucy) of Hendersonville, Tenn.; grandchildren, Susan Oakes of Memphis, Elizabeth Oakes of Memphis, and Frank Oakes III (Melissa) of Hendersonville, Tenn.; and great-grandchildren Kindred, Frank “Finn” IV and Emery. Elaine had numerous nieces and nephews and loved them all dearly.
Elaine was laid to rest next to Frank and her daughter-in-law, Judy (Neil), at Memorial Park in a graveside service on Jan. 10 at 10 a.m. In lieu of flowers, the family requests that memorials be sent to The Dixon Gallery & Gardens, Memphis Botanic Gardens, or the PBS Foundation.
