This month a lot of emphasis is placed on abstinence throughout the nation. This coming Saturday, May 16, 2009, teens from all over the state school districts and children agencies, ten-year-olds and up, will be at a huge rally in Jackson at the Mississippi Coliseum. The rally consists of young people sharing testimonies, singing, chanting and rapping. All this is done to promote an abstinent lifestyle.
Not withstanding some of the ills of today's society, how do we as adults promote a lifestyle that goes practically against the representation of today's society? Also when speaking of abstinence, there are so many double standards that our young people must face. Those double standards can be seen even in our community.
During the Presidential campaign, Gov. Sarah Palin's daughter, Bristol, was pregnant and had become engaged to the future father. After the election, this future mother broke the engagement, and after becoming a mom, found herself on local television, stating how abstinence "was not that realistic."
This young lady is on a tour of high schools throughout the country promoting an Abstinent lifestyle. First, I wonder what would have happened if the eldest daughter of the now President had found herself in the same predicament as this young lady was during the campaign. Secondly, what message is sent to young people who keep up with this saga?
At least there should be young people who have not allowed themselves in that predicament and practicing abstinence traveling with her. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not villainizing her, in fact she is actually a victim who got "played" for political reasons.
A.C. Green was one of the great basketball players who played as a forward for the Lakers during the Magic Johnson and Kareem Adul-Jabaar era. With so many great players, on the team, his claim to fame was being the sixth man on a team of superstars. He was very consistent about his play, but what he also was known for was his public stance for an abstinent lifestyle.
He has long retired -- a successful businessman who abstained until he was married. He did this while playing pro basketball at a time when few athletes did not mind commenting on their conquests. In his biography, he stated he maintained a spiritual life style and did everything in moderation. He was almost close to forty before he married.
While in the Navy, I received enough training to be a qualified Alcohol and Drug counselor for the Navy for three years. What I discovered was when there was an excess of drug use or alcohol use, there were other vices done in excess. What I found myself doing was recommending other agencies that dealt with debt, anger, fear, loneliness, weight, divorce and even suicide.
One community service class taught by Central Mississippi's Families First Resource Center is an abstinence class where the emphasis is not on the normal subject that comes to mind when the word abstinence is used but a curriculum promoting an abstinent lifestyle: No smoking, drinking, avoiding peer pressure, promoting team work in every aspect of their lives. By doing so, it hopefully promotes an idea to wait on that physical thing.
As adults, we have a lot of situations we create out of a "do what I say do and not as I do" attitude. I realize it may be tough to be single with young children and still have a steady dating life. Too much of what is observed at home along with peer pressure, the latest fad and every expert will have an influence on our children.
It's so important that we live our lives fully, but not in excess. We must set the example sometimes not to get a "want" confused with a "need." We must control addictive behaviors like anger or depression. We must abstain from the use of profanity and ugly words. But most important of all, we must address the spiritual nature of our youth by showing love with basic discipline. If our youth can see us living disciplined lifestyles, then maybe it will be much easier and convincing to that young person that it is better to wait.
A responsible and healthy sex life is as important to a human as eating and getting rid of waste. What we need to be teaching our kids is how to be responsible adults, not telling them a normal and necessary part of being human is bad. Discipline means being responsible in our actions, not hiding from them completely.